Review: The Gambler

4/10 - When did Marky Mark turn into Kevin Bacon?

I'm not sure why I was supposed to watch The Gambler. Did people think it was a good movie? Is it a comedy? Is it a drama? It's like a movie that just came into existence and disappeared just as quickly. Which makes sense because even after seeing it, because I still have no idea why this movie was made.

From what I gather, this was a remake. That's important because in the context of 2015, this is an irrelevant movie. I can't see this movie getting made on spec right now and getting any attention. It's a movie with an irrelevant story about irrelevant characters for today.

The plot rundown is something about Marky Mark being a rich baby who has a wicked job as a professor but gambles away everything he earns, and screws around with one of his students.

I think the biggest take away from The Gambler was how much I am becoming skeeved out by Hollywood. The very talented Brie Larson plays the young innocent love interest. And while their relationship was somewhat inappropriate within the story, because he is a teacher and she is a student, all I could think about was the idea that she was probably birthed with "Good Vibrations" playing in the delivery room. This age gap is becoming so common, and the more I see it the more awkward I find it. It's easy to look at the context of each relationship in each movie individually and justify the age gap as being part of the story, but it's something that happens so often it's really a gross trend that I'm not a fan of.

Back to the movie itself, I can't decide if I think Marky Mark gives a good acting performance. With a lot of unintentional condescension, I found myself impressed that he could spout out long poetic lines while his literature professor character lectured his class. There were no scenes of him running with a gun while explosions were going off in the background. which is pretty much the only reason he does movies anymore. I totally loathed his character though, and I largely attribute that to his utter lack of charisma and charm.

Jessica Lange, on the other hand, is a gift to the world. Although she is not a major character, all of her scenes come into sharp focus with her presence. Frankly, this movie is worth watching for the pleasure of watching Lange slap the Froot Loops out of Marky Marks mouth.

Overall The Gambler about reckless people making poor decisions, without any consideration for the consequences of their actions. There's nothing sympathetic about a character with an endless supply of cash who's problems come from gambling that money away, especially considering the state of the American economy today. I actually found that the higher the stakes were, the less I cared about the outcome of story. As interesting as some of the set pieces and scenarios were, they were so underutilized with a plot that cannot possibly resonate with the audience.


IMDb - The Gambler (6.1)
Wikipedia - The Gambler
Rotten Tomatoes - The Gambler (46%)
Amazon.ca - The Gambler

REVIEW: The Search For Freedom

4/10 - What's love got to do, got to do with it?

Why do people like extreme sports? What is it that drives people to them? That's the premise of this documentary, finding out from athletes what draws them to these sports that put them at risk.

Needless to say, viewing this at the  Maui Film Festival where surf culture reigns king, the movie did quite well.

I would like to know how this documentary came to be. It mashes together footage of athletes from all parts of the globe without ever giving time to introduce them, introduce the sport, or explain why we are watching it.

From the top of snowy mountains with skiers racing against avalanches, to the hot beaches in Hawaii where surfers tame the tides, this film tries to be inclusive of everything that would be considered an extreme sport, including skateboarding, mountain biking, sky diving, snow boarding, BMX, and wind surfing. Perhaps the biggest flaw was not focusing on a few in depth examples of extreme sports. Instead it touches briefly on all of them. No, really. All of them.

It hops from sport to sport, athlete to athlete, with only generic comments about the rush they feel to connect the scenes. This movie is dense with sports interviews, and thin on context. This movie is desperate for a narrator.

Despite it's sloppy execution, there are some great moments that illustrate the way sport culture has evolved and the level of accomplishments that have been achieved. Legends like Tony Hawk discuss his career in skateboarding, in direct comparison to the children who are making those same achievements today.

Really, it's the jaw-dropping cinematic shots that tells the story. These athletes are driven, passionate people who are often viewed as social outcasts for their discipline and dedication to the sport. The slow motion, high def scenes of those athletes rocketing through the air on skis or skates is enough to explain that thematic question. The footage captures a palpable adrenaline rush that fuels these athletes more than anything else. That's something that resonates with thrill seekers.

Seeing those scenes of the highest heights that can be reached through extreme sports, one thing is clear. There doesn't need to be an explanation to get it. It would have been nice if there was one, though.

Rotten Tomatoes - The Search for Freedom
Film Website - The Search for Freedom

REVIEW: Let's Be Cops

4/10 - Near unwatchable. 

You know what I hate? A film that has a good premise but doesn't know how to get to that setup in a realistic way.

In this case, the concept is the guys from New Girl run around as cops. Great. How do we get there? A pretty piss poor series of events. It's the plot a 8th grader would write - One is a video game developer who has cop uniforms because... he wants to make a cop video game? And the cops just hand over uniforms for that sort of thing. Then they make their own cop car. For real. They just get a car and make it into a cop car. That's a thing, I guess. Deadbeats who can't get their lives together decide to realistically fool the cops with little to no motivation.

The best thing I can say about this movie is it puts some scenes of fun things to good music.

There are some delightful cameos that I won't spoil. Natasha Leggero is on of my favorites, she's a gem. The casting in general is quite well done. Jake Johnson and Damon Waynes Jr. are really fun together.

But for real, don't see this movie. I can't imagine what kind of train-wreck this would be if it didn't have such a great set of leads. The plot is virtually non-existent. There's nothing original about the scenarios they find themselves in. Everyone plays their lines mildly funny but there really is nothing inherently funny about the story.

What's actually a little worrisome about this film is how similar the story is to the 2013 buddy real-cop movie The Heat. If the intention is to write a movie about idiots pretending to be cops, it's should't culminate with them actually being great cops. Even 21 Jump Street didn't have any moments of them being great cops. This movie is just a mess. No intention, no story, no great moments, no great laughs.

IMDb - Lets Be Cops (6.7)
Wikipedia - Lets Be Cops
Rotten Tomatoes - Lets Be Cops (19%)
Amazon.ca - Lets Be Cops

REVIEW: The Giver

4/10 - Some books just shouldn't be adapted into movies.

The Giver is a NOVEL that's been a young adult staple for many years. It tells a story a young boy who lives in a world of sameness, who learns that our unique differences need to be valued.

This book is probably not one I ever would have even remembered reading if it wasn't for this film adaptation. If there is one major film trend right now it's Dystopian films, so it makes sense that they would try to cash in on the movie version. On paper The Giver seems like the perfect model for the teen sc-ifi genre. As a movie its a total flop.

I'm not sure I understand how the fantastic cast got roped into such a poor production, but the acting is the only saving grace for this poor excuse for a film. Meryl Streep is pretty fantastic. Katie Holmes commits, Jeff Bridges and Alexander Skarsgard play their parts well. But they should all delete this IMDb listing if they get the chance. The kids in this film are laughable in their roles. The dialogue is dry and uninspired, and story doesn't come close to achieving the depth of ideas that the novel evokes. The special effects were just embarrassing. It's a little bit painful to dig through this movie for a forgettable ending.

In my opinion, the problems they faced came down to a poor script adaptation. Their society is built on sameness and not allowing unique features. With the exception of the protagonists younger sister, none of the characters were in any way memorable. They had no personality, which is a symptom of having no personality. Rules and character motivations just appeared and disappeared without any build up. The guy's two close friends were both kind of annoying and awful. I didn't really care about the mission Jonas goes on because the city didn't seem worth saving.

The Giver isn't a total waste of time. It's a good lesson on how nothing is a sure bet, and sometimes even Meryl Streep isn't fabulous. (Jk, she was still fabulous. Movie was still stinky.)

IMDb - The Giver (6.7)
Wikipedia - The Giver
Rotten Tomatoes - The Giver (35%)
Amazon.ca - The Giver

REVIEW: Butter

4/10 - I guess Butter carving sounds interesting. But it isn't. 

Butter is a great movie on paper. It's got a great cast, likely due to the great script. In fact, the script is so good it won a bunch of awards as a spec. On paper, it sounds like a fantastically funny, heartwarming, complex story.

As a movie it's pretty meh all around.

It's not politicial enough to be a biting satire. It's not funny enough to be a comedy. It doesn't follow through with it's attempts to be smart. This is a film overflowing with potential that falls flat on it's face.

As much as I love Jennifer Garner, and think she's actually quite funny in the role, it's the wrong casting. Her character is a larger than life scheming southern belle, who's hunger for power has corrupted all morals. Jen's southern accent wafts in and out, and is just too unlikable.

Somehow that's representative of all that goes wrong with this movie. The choices made in the production of this movie weren't necessarily wrong, but they weren't big and bold enough. Everything feels a little wishy washy. I have a suspicion that a lot of the smaller story lines were neutered to make room for the main story.

For example, Olivia Wilde's character Brook is a stripper. She seduces the home grown and wholesome Bob Pickler in a moment of weakness. Then she stalks him for the rest of the movie, demanding her money. In order to extort the money, Brook joins the butter carving competition. As interesting of a monkey wrench as she is, her character just collapses upon itself by the second half of the movie. Her paper thin character has no where to go so she disappears.

At best, Brook is intended to be a foil for Laura. Brook comes from nothing, and is able to make the moral choice in the end with every reason not to. Laura is privileged, and makes awful decisions. But it's a totally ineffective comparison because they have no business being in the same movie together. Their story lines don't ever meet or impact each other in any significant way.

What's frustrating is that the setup is there for so many great potential story lines, but practically all of them dwindle away into nothing. Without any follow through the movie is nothing but a drag.


There are some great moments that I can appreciate as a writer. When the signups are happening for the butter carving competition, there is a long rope maze of an entrance way. As each character enters the room to sign up, they tackle the rope maze a different way. It's a subtle detail, and I find it delicious to reveal character that way. Unfortunately the one thing that scene doesn't do is make me laugh.

Butter is a good movie if you want to see what goes wrong in a script from page to screen. It's not enough to rely on selling points like big characters and an unusual setting. Without a worthwhile story, and maybe even more importantly, without jokes this movie is a big miss.


IMDb - Butter (6,3)
Wikipedia - Butter 
Rotten Tomatoes - Butter (33%)
Amazon.ca - Butter