REVIEW: How to Train Your Dragon 2

5/10 - Of all the most unnecessary sequels, this is one of the most unnecessary. 

If you missed America's favorite Cat-Dog then you'll be happy to see toothless, the firebreathing domestic cuddle-bug return to the big screen. Surprisingly, the entire cast of the original How to Train Your Dragon returned to this animated franchise along with a few other delightful cast additions.

Here are some stray oberservations as I watch the movie live:

-Why did they have two introductions? They introduce all the minor characters playing quidditch or something, and then they introduce Toothless and Jay Baruchel doing some stunt flying for giggles. Reminds me of the Frozen introduction where they opted to have a music intro that was entirely unrelated to the rest of the movie.

-Running theory: Since they decided to "man-up" Hiccup, I'm operating under the impression that this is the puberty edition of the franchise. Let's see how this pans out.

-Am I supposed to like this Astrid character? She seems like Bad News Bears to me.

-I hate villains that are bad for the sake of being bad. In this case, Drago is described as being "a bad man without conscious or mercy."

-HIS LONG LOST MOTHER?! Come on. Sometimes people just don't have parents. I'm a little irritated by this.

-I've reached the point in the movie where I wish I hadn't started. It's beginning to ruin essential plot points of the original film. The first movie tells a great story about one boy changing the world. None of this unexplained rivalry business. No rewriting history. This sequel is about some bullshit.

-The idea that the mom couldn't come back home because she sided with the dragons is making my eyes twitch. Why did these people listen to a kid in the first movie, and not her years before? Somebody? Anybody?

-These super-mega dragons remind me of when Pirates of the Caribbean had the Kraken in one of the sequels. It was a great idea to talk about but stupid on film. This alpha-predator idea is stupid. It also doesn't really feel like an increase in stakes, it feels like they're cheating and rewriting the rules.

-Nope. I'm over this parental bullshit storyline. They ruined this franchise for me. This is bad, lazy writing. Boo. I'm booing this movie. Boo!

-Honestly, this Alpha Dragon bit is infuriating to me. Protection and loyalty? More like contrived and ineffectual.

Alright so that was majorly disappointing. For a sequel that has been receiving so much critical and audience praise, I was incredibly bummed out. It's not a sequel that adds anything to the original, so the unnecessary factor is high. There were no major themes, particularly none that bettered the original film. Many of the minor characters have no purpose or value other then being brought back from the original.

There's a side of me that does understand why people would at least enjoy this flick. For an animated adventure it clicks along and motivates the audience to root for the hero.

It's just not for me, and never will be. I may have to rewatch the original in the future to scrub my brain from this nightmarish hell.

IMDb - How to Train Your Dragon 2 (8.2)
Wikipedia - How to Train Your Dragon 2
Rotten Tomatoes - How to Train Your Dragon 2 (92%)
Amazon.ca - How to Train Your Dragon 2

REVIEW: I Know That Voice

7/10 - Now available on Netflix (Cause you won't see it anywhere else)

I like documentaries.

This is a nice documentary.

It's not particularly enlightening, or opinion changing. It doesn't reveal some seedy underbelly that you were unaware of.

It's a movie that features people who love their jobs, talking about their jobs. They just kick it, and tell funny stories, and talk about the things they like and don't like.

If you like watching people talk about something they are passionate about, then this will be enjoyable for you. It's pretty inoffensive. It's fun to watch actors who look nothing like their animated characters just suddenly bring to life this familiar life. They overemphasize the difficulties of their job, and the challenges they face. They also share some delightful stories of surprising little kids with the voices they do.

I found this to be a little big long and dry in places. I suspect they didn't go out of their way to get the rights to any actual animated works because almost no footage of the actual animated works are featured. I've watched a few documentaries that suffer from this, but it can be a little tedious to watch people get interviewed on a couch for two hours. Having those great visuals breaks it up. That being said, they feature every great voice actor you can think of, along with many big names in the animation community from Mark Hamill to Matt Groening. It's a lot of fun to see someone break out the Sponge Bob Squarepants voice on the drop of a dime.

You don't need to be a big fan of animated series' to enjoy this, but it helps. It's got a feel good vibe, without actually being a success story of any kind. It's just an enjoyable watch that won't challenge you on a lazy Sunday afternoon.

IMDb - I Know That Voice (7.5)
Wikipedia - I Know That Voice
Rotten Tomatoes - I Know That Voice (No Rating Yet)
Amazon.ca - I Know That Voice

REVIEW: Godzilla

7/10 - RAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRR

So... I'm not a huge fan.

In recent years a ton of hype around a budget remake has proven to be a bad thing. They aren't inherently bad films, they just tend to be boring. Take a good, classic concept and water it down with excessive CGI and bad leads. To be honest, I was anticipating this 2014 Godzilla remake to be Pacific Rim part two, which would be a nightmare for me.

When it comes down to it, I don't like movies where it turns into a puppet show. If all the action and drama surrounds CGI monsters smashing CGI cities, it doesn't actually have any impact anymore. It should be incredible and awe-inducing but instead it actually deminishes the high stakes because it's so far removed from reality. There are no real-world, personal impact for a movie like that. There are no characters in danger, only puppets. That's actually why I'm a big fan of Cloverfield, but we can save that for another day.

You may have noticed, however, that I gave this film a higher rating. How deductive of you, congratulations you have fantastic reading and recollection skills.

Godzilla does have many strengths that have defied the shitty genre of military based action films. fighting some equally terrible big bad. It manages to ground the film with a single character and his family who's been impacted by the Godzilla-events. There is some minor "out smarting" that always has to happen to make a protagonist seem worth while. It even manages to make the scale and might of these beasts (because spoiler: there's more than one) seem monumental.

If you are like me, and you are immune to the hero shots and slow motion running away, then you will appreciate that Godzilla has some beautiful moments of quality. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Taylor-Johnson are quite compelling in otherwise stiff roles. There is a lot of "background" provided to the monsters and where they came from. The military reaction is fun to watch, even if its cheesy at times. It rides a fine line between turd and terrific. As much as I despise CGI replacing the need to even film a movie, the impact of the destruction was really well done.

As a whole, not a lot makes sense. In fact, nothing makes sense. Here are my current qualms with Godzilla:

Why was Godzilla a second class citizen in his own movie? For real, he wasn't even the big-bad.

Was the audience supposed to follow the bullshit alpha-predator history that was spouted? Because none of that made sense. Also, would the worlds leading scientist on whatever the hell Godzilla is, really hinge his bets that one monster will defeat the other and everything will be sunshine and rainbows after that? That's not real. Nope. Don't buy it.

What about the fact that various branches of the military just took Aaron Taylor-Johnson on a few trips around the world? All because he asked nicely? That was cringe-inducing at some points. He would literally walk in a room where the worlds fate was being handled and say "hey guys... Can I get a lift back home? I can do that bomb stuff, I promise." Really. That's how the military works.

Abandoning the kid halfway through the film was a bizarre move. It was as if the second half of the movie didn't have time for those annoying "human actors" so they just disappeared from the story.

I also have major issues with the ending. If Godzilla rose from Hades to hunt those other monsters, he should have done what predators do when they finish hunting. They eat! He's probably super hungry now, because he went back to bed without dinner. You all know you would have loved to watch the cleanup.

For all my complaining, it wasn't a bad film. There are great environments, lots of surprising twists and turns. The moment on the train tracks reminded me a lot of the magic that Jurassic Park had. That's something I wish other movies in the same genre understood. You'll never be able to shake the audience with scope and scale of a big monster. The same audiences have sat through too many Transformers movies, a thousand Marvel films, and we are sick of seeing the side of a skyscraper fall off. It doesn't mean anything. By innovating and showing exactly how terrifying that would be, the monsters feel much more real. Godzilla should never be a monument. Gareth Edwards comes close to unleashing that beast.

IMDb - Godzilla (6.8)
Wikipedia - Godzilla
Rotten Tomatoes - Godzilla (73%)
Amazon.ca - Godzilla