QUICKIE MOVIE REVIEWS

I've watched a bunch of terrible movies lately, and a few good ones. Here is the rundown - including a 0/10 and a 10/10.

Red Dawn
(2012, Jeremy Passmore and Carl Ellsworth)

The whole premise is cool. I've never seen the original but from what I gathered about the remake- North Korea plans an elaborate invasion on US soil, sending troops to invade nationwide, and some regular-Joe suburban guys fight back. That's not even close to what this movie really is, so don't waste your money or time.

This was so one dimensional. It's really the least thought out film I've ever seen. I don't think it was ever written. It must have been created over a lunch break and they grabbed whatever actors were around. 2/10

Trance

(2013, Joe Ahearne and John Hodge)

Here's the thing. This would be a cool movie if it wasn't so over thought. It's the opposite of Red Dawn. Its so planned that it's hard to remain focused because of the anticipation of what will happen next. It was one of these point of view "what really happened" movies, but halfway in I was lost and didn't care. 

It all seemed very forced and overworked. I don't have any interest in revisiting the story or the characters. A well intentioned flop. I don't know what if anything could have saved this movie. 5/10

Indie Game: The Movie
(DOC. 2012, James Swirsky and Lisanne Pajot)

This is going to be an unpopular opinion. If you want to watch people talk about games, sure, watch it. But there was nothing mind blowing or revolutionary, or frankly interesting about this documentary.

It was a safe, boring bet. It's watchable but it's not memorable. I almost feel like there wasn't enough here to make a movie. 4/10




Safe Haven
(2013, Gage Lansky and Dana Stevens)

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha....
hahahahahahahahahaha....
Don't watch this movie.
0/10

Save the Date
(2012, Jeffrey Brown, Egan Reich, Michael Mohan)

I wanted to like this movie more than I did. I enjoy all the actors and think they typically make good choices. This movie dragged its heals and became frustrating. I turned against the protagonist halfway through when motivations became muddled. I don't think they knew what the story they were trying to tell was. It was just a compilation of events that didn't really build to anything.

There were some great jokes and a lot of the drama felt genuine and close to home. Mark Webber did an outstanding job and is the only memorable character.

If I see one more slow zoom, I'm going to punch someone. It's like art school 101 for how to make things look important when they aren't. Slow zoom. 4/10



Queen of Versailles
(DOC. 2012, Lauren Greenfield)

This has quickly become one of my favorite documentaries of the year. It's a fascinating look at the life of one of the richest families in the United States. It's a surprising and engaging experience of what happens to them during the recession.

Don't mistake this for a TLC show on the big screen. It's a real American-Dream story. As old money as David Segal acts, he build his fortune piece by piece. Jackie is the arm candy beauty queen. She competed in pageants and models, but she also has a engineering degree and shops at Wal-Mart.  Everyone wants to watch these sky high people eat their humble pie, but it's not a movie that tears these people apart, it's quite compassionate. It's a thought provoking slice of reality and that's exactly what a documentary should be. 10/10

"Nothings really normal about this life. You know, getting everything... It's like you don't really have to worry about money, but at the same time, you do." (16 year old, Jonquil)

MOVIE REVIEW: Star Trek Into Darkness

9/10 - Phenomenal sequel, worth the admission price.

In my continued series to review movies that are no longer relevant, I saw the new Star Trek Into Darkness in glorious 2D.

First, I want to talk about how impressed I am that this is a sequel. When you take away all the history, and the expectations, this is just an action movie that was successful and spawned a sequel. For me, it's pretty impressive to make a watchable sequel in 2013. Because they are typically garbage (Transformers).

Into Darkness takes the typical movie magic formula and makes it work. The writers rip away everything important and do so in a way that doesn't seem unnecessary or fake. As many sequel writers have said, things have to get more personal the second time around, and they do a great job in this. I may have got a little teary eyed at one moment, but it's totally fine. It's just allergies. Don't look at me. 

It's definitely derivative, and the one thing I do notice over and over again with Damon Lindeloff is that he tends to reinterpret an idea that's just a little bit too familiar. Great story, great atmosphere, but if I took away that stuff the plot would be a story a modern trope. Good or bad, you decide. I still enjoyed the movie and was surprised by the end result.

I'm a little disappointed with how characters well established in the first movie are sort of shelved in the second. I was particularly bothered by two characters, Uhura being marginalized despite remaining a fierce female presence, and Chekov being sent to the boiler room for much of the film.

I am inclined to talk about the role of women particularly because of Dr. Marcus being a fluff piece. Movie goers have likely noticed the decline of gratuitous sexuality in regular films lately and this is probably why. The character of Dr. Marcus is fine but she feels a little one dimensional until she reveals her true plot-device purpose for being on board. Before her character is really tested, she decides to strip for Kirk. No

The Cast of Star Trek 2

one is really sure why. The ironic bit to this comes from the fact that this film is pretty well written, and the beats move so fast, which is why this scene is causing attention. When every scene is written with a purpose and payoff, and all of a sudden you ask the audience to stare at boobies because you like them? That's not going to sit well. This is why we need women in the movie industry who can get editing jobs with red pens and can say "nope, cut it." and make me happy.

I have no doubt that this role has transformed many peoples view of Benedict Cumberbatch aka Sherlock Holmes. He is now an action legend. I will fully admit that I wouldn't have thought he had it in him. He can obviously play brainy, but it takes something special to be a great evil genius. He truly lucked out with the writing because rarely are villains given enough to be terrifying. Not only is "John Harrison" mysterious, he clearly has an intention, and a viable plan. He really could out wit them all and that's invaluable. I think his character is what solely elevates Into Darkness into superb-sequel territory.

Overall, I dig Star Trek 2-ish. It's a great adventure series and it has a lot of great actors. It doles out memorable giggles and genuine emotion. It's probably one of the better movies I have seen this summer. If you want a real edge of your seat action movie, don't miss it.

IMDb - Star Trek Into Darkness (8.2)

Wikipedia - Star Trek Into Darkness

Rotten Tomatoes - Star Trek Into Darkness (87%)
Amazon.ca - Star Trek Into Darkness

My Dog Hoards Garbage

I have nothing to add. My dog is both cute and super weird.

The Internet is Conspiring Against Me

I don't have much to say except I wrote two blog posts last week, and had them as scheduled updates.

But they were eaten. By the internet. Gone forever.
You didn't miss much.


I ranted about how Pacific Rim didn't look like a good movie.

I also made a movie review for Red Dawn (which was abhorrently bad)

Since no one reads my blog, I'm just going to make a "quickie" movie review post about several movies I saw lately and I'll throw some mean stuff about Red Dawn in there to make up for it. I'm best when I'm angry, so it was an entertaining post, for sure.

No objections to skipping those posts? Great, see you next week.

Jimmy Eat World @ Ottawa Bluesfest, July 4th, 2013

Finally getting to see my all time favorite band was quite an experience.


As far as I can tell, here is their setlist.

• I Will Steal You Back (Damage - 2013)
• A Praise Chorus (Bleed American - 2001)
• My Best Theory (Invented - 2010)
• Appreciation (Damage - 2013)
• Your New Aesthetic (Clarity - 1999)
• Futures (Futures - 2004)
• Work (Futures - 2004)
• Damage (Damage - 2013)
• Let It Happen (Chase This Light - 2007)
• Pain (Futures - 2004)
• Chase This Light (Chase This Light - 2007)
• Lean (Damage - 2013)
• Sweetness (Bleed American - 2001)
• Bleed American (Bleed American - 2001)
• Lucky Denver Mint (Clarity - 1999)
• Big Casino (Chase This Light - 2007)
• The Middle (Bleed American - 2001)

Upcoming Summer Movies (Part 2- Extra Awesome Edition)

(Psst.. Part 1 is here!)

Kick Ass 2

Action, Screenplay by Jeff Wadlow
Release Date: August 16th, 2013



Yeaaaaaaahhhhh I can't wait for this movie. Insert your favorite cliche comment about sequels not living up to the original here. I don't care. This is going to be an awesome movie. Kick Ass might not have been recognized as an outstanding movie when it was released, but I think it stands up against some of the biggest budget movies launched in the last decade. It's the only superhero movie to ever capture a sense of  vulnerability and humble insecurity. It's a powerful franchise that pushes traditional concepts bringing shocking moments to a very jaded audience, while eliciting more sympathy than I have ever had for a "hero". Of course I am concerned they are going to screw things up. But even if they do, I'll get a new sexy soundtrack from it! (The original was great!)

The World's End

Genre? Awesome? Written by Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg
Release Date: August 23rd, 2013 (NA)



I don't think there is much to say. These guys don't do sequels, they do new movies. This is the final chapter the Blood and Ice Cream (someone buys a cornetto at the time stamp of the release date?) series. The actors are highly talented, extremely funny and have never balked at the high expectations. This will be good, because Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright don't know how to do bad.

Drinking Buddies

Dranedy, Written by Joe Swanberg
Release Date: August 23rd, 2013



I am a sucker for Olivia Wilde, even when she's isn't great and every girl fell in love with Anna Kendrick in 2012 with Pitch Perfect. To put those two ladies in a love triangle with New Girl's Jake Johnson is genius. I am there. This looks like the perfect kind of romantic comedy, having a female POV but not being girlie and trite. I'm really excited to see where this goes, but I will be the first to acknowledge the major-flop potential. This could definitely drag on and be unsatisfying. But I don't think Jake would do that to me. If this doesn't drown, it could serve to be a great example for how to make a quality low budgie. I have faith that Joe Swanberg is experienced enough to make this great.

Don Jon

Comedy, Written by Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Release Date: September 27th, 2013



Everyone knows JGL for making amazing film choices, which is why there is such a high expectation for his foray into writing and directing. Thankfully this isn't a high concept thriller, or crime drama with a twist ending or something that could so easily go wrong. It's a comedy, but it's hard to create a comedy that feels fresh and edgy. I'm excited to see this in theaters, because I can't see it being anything less than stellar.


That's my list! No mention of Wolverine or Thor. If anyone has any suggestions, arguments or pictures of cats, please comment below!

Upcoming Summer Movies (Part 1)

The Way, Way Back

Comedy, Written by Nat Faxon and Jim Rash.
Release Date: July 5th, 2013.

I linked this on FaceBook because this is my dream cast. Steve Carell is a proven talent, but Allison Janney is one of my favorite humans, plus Toni Collette is immensely gifted. To say I'm looking forward to this is a gross understatement. You better not disappoint, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash!!! Who am I kidding. Those two are a delight. (I miss Ben and Kate)

RED 2

Action, Screenplay by Jon Hoeber, and Erich Hoeber.
Release Date: July 19th, 2013.



Ehh, this will probably be mediocre at best. But the original RED was an unexpected smash for me. I love a film that doesn't take itself super seriously (I'm looking at you, Die Hard series) and if I get to watch Helen Mirren kick ass again, I'll give this a shot.

The To Do List

Romantic Comedy, Written by Maggie Carey.
Release Date: July 26th, 2013



Everyone seems to love Aubrey Plaza lately, but I don't think I'm on that bandwagon. She is pretty funny and this movie has summer success formula written all over it. With some hysterical costars, and jokes that make me giggle in the trailer, I'm pretty excited to see how this shakes out.

Elysium

Action, Sci-Fi. Written by Neill Blomkamp
Release Date: August 9th, 2013



This is the guy who made everyone freak out with District 9. That being said, I am seriously pumped for Jodi Foster. She is a frosty bitch in this trailer. Matt Damon is ok, but he isn't winning me over like Jodi is with her bitch-face. I'm concerned about this getting the "over-hype" treatment and it being an ok film that gets praised to the high heavens. It makes me nervous when I can plot out three acts from the trailer. That being said, District 9, District 9, omg it's gonna be so good!

I'm going to post Part Two later this week. If there is anything I'm forgetting leave a comment and let me know!

Edit: Part2 is here!