REVIEW: How to Train Your Dragon 2

5/10 - Of all the most unnecessary sequels, this is one of the most unnecessary. 

If you missed America's favorite Cat-Dog then you'll be happy to see toothless, the firebreathing domestic cuddle-bug return to the big screen. Surprisingly, the entire cast of the original How to Train Your Dragon returned to this animated franchise along with a few other delightful cast additions.

Here are some stray oberservations as I watch the movie live:

-Why did they have two introductions? They introduce all the minor characters playing quidditch or something, and then they introduce Toothless and Jay Baruchel doing some stunt flying for giggles. Reminds me of the Frozen introduction where they opted to have a music intro that was entirely unrelated to the rest of the movie.

-Running theory: Since they decided to "man-up" Hiccup, I'm operating under the impression that this is the puberty edition of the franchise. Let's see how this pans out.

-Am I supposed to like this Astrid character? She seems like Bad News Bears to me.

-I hate villains that are bad for the sake of being bad. In this case, Drago is described as being "a bad man without conscious or mercy."

-HIS LONG LOST MOTHER?! Come on. Sometimes people just don't have parents. I'm a little irritated by this.

-I've reached the point in the movie where I wish I hadn't started. It's beginning to ruin essential plot points of the original film. The first movie tells a great story about one boy changing the world. None of this unexplained rivalry business. No rewriting history. This sequel is about some bullshit.

-The idea that the mom couldn't come back home because she sided with the dragons is making my eyes twitch. Why did these people listen to a kid in the first movie, and not her years before? Somebody? Anybody?

-These super-mega dragons remind me of when Pirates of the Caribbean had the Kraken in one of the sequels. It was a great idea to talk about but stupid on film. This alpha-predator idea is stupid. It also doesn't really feel like an increase in stakes, it feels like they're cheating and rewriting the rules.

-Nope. I'm over this parental bullshit storyline. They ruined this franchise for me. This is bad, lazy writing. Boo. I'm booing this movie. Boo!

-Honestly, this Alpha Dragon bit is infuriating to me. Protection and loyalty? More like contrived and ineffectual.

Alright so that was majorly disappointing. For a sequel that has been receiving so much critical and audience praise, I was incredibly bummed out. It's not a sequel that adds anything to the original, so the unnecessary factor is high. There were no major themes, particularly none that bettered the original film. Many of the minor characters have no purpose or value other then being brought back from the original.

There's a side of me that does understand why people would at least enjoy this flick. For an animated adventure it clicks along and motivates the audience to root for the hero.

It's just not for me, and never will be. I may have to rewatch the original in the future to scrub my brain from this nightmarish hell.

IMDb - How to Train Your Dragon 2 (8.2)
Wikipedia - How to Train Your Dragon 2
Rotten Tomatoes - How to Train Your Dragon 2 (92%)
Amazon.ca - How to Train Your Dragon 2